There are many noble titles in this life, and high on that list is the title of friend. Though I fall short more often than I’d like, I’m always working at becoming a better friend. It is my great joy to make friends happy, to celebrate them, listen well, encourage, spur them on, connect with them, laugh and cry with them. Friendship is a high and important calling, a gift designed by and gifted to us by God.
Most of us are grateful to have been on the receiving end of friendships. We’ve had dear friends make us belly laugh, rally around us in time of need, join in on our adventures and ventures, circle around to protect us, help us sort out truth from emotion, and give us grace when we fall short. They spur us on, leaving us laughing rather than wallowing.
Friendship is important work. But could our friendship goals be forgetting someone? Have you considered how well you are a friend to yourself? Would you treat your friends the way you treat yourself? Are we friends to ourselves in equal measure as we are to others? For most of us, the true answer to that question is sadly no.
In Ephesians 2:10, we are told that we are God’s handiwork, created for good works prepared in advance for us. Imagine if we saw ourselves as we are, as God’s handiwork. Would he have us treat his creation with the love he calls us to have?
If we were better friends to ourselves, consider how much more joy we’d have that couldn’t help but bubble over to the people God has called us to love. Imagine how much more on mission we’d be each day. If we can learn to be a better friend to ourselves, treating ourselves as we do our friends, we’ll be so much more fun, loving, and effective for God’s Kingdom.
Consider these 5 ways to be a better friend to yourself:
1. Give Yourself Grace:
Grace is one of the greatest gifts in healthy friendships. It’s essential because we are flesh-in-blood human beings incapable of perfection. Messing up often is assured.
Are your expectations for yourself unreasonably high? Do you fall short again and again (just as your friends do), but fail to forgive yourself? How could giving yourself more grace help you find more joy, serve more effectively, and remain true to your calling from God?
If this is as a struggle for you, write out areas in which you’ve failed, where you continue to sin, and times you’ve let yourself down. Are you grumpy with your kids in the mornings? Do you eat too much junk food? Are you jealous of your coworker? Get it in writing. Then, read your list back through with the mindset of a friend. Consider if that were your friend’s list. What would you say to her about grace?
2. Laugh, Have Fun, and Be Silly:
Fun friendships are the best, aren’t they? They keep things light, make us laugh, and keep us smiling, and we are so grateful. Being a better friend to yourself includes making more space for joy. So, what makes you laugh? How could you laugh more at yourself and with yourself?
God designed us to find joy in the people, places, and things that he created. Sarah, in Genesis 21:6, trusted that “God has given me cause to laugh…”
He’s given you cause to laugh if you’ll look for it! Make a list of activities you enjoy. Think about when you feel free to be silly. Jot down things that make you laugh. If these were a friend’s lists, you would consider these joyful listings as worthy of time devoted to them, right? Aren’t you worthy and designed fun as well? Consider how you might make space for laughter. Could you pursue at least one fun, silly, or giggle-inducing thing every day?
If this is a struggle for you, pray about it. Ask God to “fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy” (Job 8:21).
Read the remainder over on iBelieve.com.