Photo by Taylor Hernandez on Unsplash
I once believed marriage counseling was a life preserver reserved only for couples in doomed marriages with pens and divorce papers in hand. And that if you had to go, you’d surely admit it only in a whisper.
Now I proudly fly the marriage counseling banner and shamelessly recommend it to friends and family. We have done it and hope to again. It is not just for those strongly considering divorces. It’s for couples like us, and maybe like you, who are ready to experience the glorious surrender of admitting we need help.
My husband and I used to think we had it all together, that we were strong, and could take on anything by digging deep and working hard. But life has brought more challenges than we ever could have planned for, along with four kids, work, and all sorts of family, social, church, and community obligations. I could never have fathomed all we would have to carry as husband and wife.
Marriage counseling helps us navigate it all better, together. My young, headstrong self was wrong and far too closed-minded.
Let me urge you to make that appointment if you are considering it. The gifts are there for the taking.
1. The Gift of Time
In a world jam-packed with distractions and loaded down with obligations, simply scheduling a time for therapy can feel like a big, hopeful win. It reminds us that on our list of priorities, first comes God and then our marriage. Our healthy marital connection comes before all other relationships, including our kids. That ranking often gets rearranged and skewed toward our kids and work.
Making space for the appointments, setting aside all else, sends us a message that we value each other and prioritize our marriage.
2. The Gift of a Third Party
Circling up with a third party grants us equal footing. No matter the hurts, mistakes, or blame carried in, both spouses enter on even ground.
In marriage, relational ruts show up in our communication, emotional health, and treatment of each other. Small, unshared hurts snowball until we no longer feel safe to share our needs, opinions, and honest frustrations. Walls go up brick by brick.
Struggles can form due to daily pressures and all the storms we face, but we must also acknowledge that we bring unhealthy habits and thinking to the table as well. And no matter the cause, a rut is a rut, and we want out. Joy is worth fighting for.
Read the rest over at iBelieve.