It’s almost time to locate Grandma’s beloved hash brown casserole recipe and those tucked away gravy boats. Soon, we’ll gather around tables to celebrate Thanksgiving with family and friends.
As the biggest meal of the year approaches, is it eagerness or dread that bubbles up? Have you ever found yourself saying, “Let me just get through this Thanksgiving meal, and then I’ll __________?” Yep, me too. “Getting through it” has been my goal more than once. But I want more this year, and I hope you do too.
We can choose to get through it, or to be intentional about becoming happier hosts. We can see it as a time to connect, serve, and celebrate God’s blessings, or we can be frenzied and miserable, begrudging our time around the table. This year let’s actively move toward joy.
Here are 10 things to know about yourself that might help you be a happier host this Thanksgiving:
Know Your Goal.
Do you want to lovingly serve your family and friends? Do you simply value being together? Or, is your desire to impress with advanced cooking skills? Knowing your goal will help you know what to shoot for. It will either release you from unreasonable expectations or give you something special to shoot for.
Know Your Plan.
Fill your mug with something warm and grab your cozy blanket. Think through your meal plan and expectantly start the process. Planning will make Thanksgiving week more intentional and less frenzied. Do whatever you can to be well thought out and easy on yourself. Make planning a hopeful and creative process. Bonus points if you doodle a turkey in the margin of your shopping list.
Who do you want to invite? Send a text or make a phone call expressing that you look forward to spending the day together. Is it OK if your niece brings her boyfriend? Would you like to invite someone in the neighborhood whom you suspect has no plan?
If having your family over brings contention, could you break up the group or shorten the time? Could you invite someone fun who will keep conversation light?
Set the tone for yourself by treating yourself to enjoyable planning.
Know How to Have Fun.
Plan for it. Pull out a fun family game that will leave everyone laughing, such as Blank Slate, Five Second Rule, or Sequence. Plan to watch a family-friendly comedian. Tell your son to print some goofy Thanksgiving jokes for the kids. Pull out baby books and giggle at photos. Suggest a card game or karaoke. Invite kids into the kitchen to make cookies. Whatever it takes to help all of you have some fun.
Know Your Tendencies.
What tends to bring you stress? What makes you sad? Joyful? You know these things, so plan for it. If you get stressed when too many people are in the kitchen, plan to jokingly tell everyone that you are a happier host when you are solo in the kitchen. Or, ask your husband to guide people into other spaces.
If you’ll be missing someone who won’t be around the table this year, think of a way to honor them rather than pretend that you are fine. Are you nostalgic because everyone will miss Grandma this year? Use her tablecloth and let everyone know.
Know Your Time.
Feeling stretched by time can zap your joy in no time flat. Think ahead. Will it be crazy busy, or will you have a day off to bake and prep? If time will be short, ask for help, and take short-cuts. Ask people to bring dishes, or ask them in advance, if they’ll come to help you make a big salad.
If people will arrive five hours before the meal, let someone cover appetizers.
Shop early, try grocery delivery, or order online for curbside pick-up. Don’t let the clock make you a grumpy host.
Know Your Limits.
Are you a multi-course, sit down meal, made from scratch style host? Or, the kind that orders side dishes from the grocery deli? Don’t change that now!
Ask for help, and don’t be afraid to be direct about what is helpful and what isn’t. And then, remind yourself in advance that people won’t clean or cook as you do. But, you’ll have more fun if you plan to release your grip on the kitchen. Tag the guys and tell them with a grin that you’ll serve dessert after they wash dinner plates! Let the kids serve drinks or pick up finished plates.
You’ll smile more if you accept grace for your Thanksgiving hosting limitations.
There is more to “Know”. Read the remainder over on iBelieve.com.
Great advice and such a perfect combination of heart and head. Thank you.