Again, I’ll begin.
My thing has always been writing. I felt its hook in fifth grade when I won a Daughters of the American Revolution essay contest. As I stood holding my blue ribboned medal at a fancy-to-me ceremony in the back conference room of the tiny Nicholasville Public Library, all the feelings bubbled over. Yes, I was proud. I’d worked hard.
But that wasn’t it.
My words had been read and connected with. Oh, how syrupy sweet the feeling. I vowed to write every day for the rest of my life. There would be picture books, articles and memoirs. I promptly mailed away for a “How to Write a Children’s Book” tutorial I found in the back of my Highlights magazine.
But then came obstacles. Middle school. Confidence. Time. To do lists. Jobs. A husband and some kids. An obsession with productivity. A thousand emotional, medical and academic needs of my kids. Self-doubt. Adoption. Breast cancer. My kids’ interests and dreams. And on the list goes.
Yes, I’ve written all along the way. There have been starts and stops, but I’ve blogged for fifteen years. Like most things we love in this life, I’ve had to fight for it. Hindrances are guaranteed.
Nine months ago, I decided to go after that writing dream with intention. I spent lots of dollars buying a domain and paying for design help. I fired away with a big series on creativity. Lots of interesting guest posters wrote about the creative things they love and shared their own obstacles faced. My laptop and I were flying high.
Six months later, my kids have had needs that require almost all of me, and then my beautiful, newly designed blog was shut down by WordPress for a massive attack of malware. I’d need to start completely over or give it up.
But, I’ll have none of the giving up. I’m bummed, bruised and road weary, yet that fifth grader with a journal is alive and well in me. I’ve got a medal packed in a box somewhere at my parents’ house that marks me. I’m the girl who works hard, dreams big, learns, and then sticks her neck out a bit to go for it.
So, again, I’ll begin. It’s not perfect yet. I still can’t figure out photo resizing, but I won’t let perfection pursuit stop me either.
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What is it for you?
Photography, marathoning, decorating, rock climbing, pottery, or kayaking? Does something tug at your heart? Poke at your creative thinking or make you bubble up with how right it feels? Is there somewhere you’ve always wanted to volunteer? Some way that you’ve always wanted to fill your Saturdays? I sure hope so.
Like me, have you had obstacles that have popped up like massive speed bumps? I figured so.
I hope you’ll go for it anyway. I hope when you wonder about the value of that thing you love, when you look around at others chasing that same dream/hobby/passion and wonder how you measure up, that you’ll kick down that barrier. That you’ll give those doubting thoughts a talking to.
If we truly love something, if it makes us come alive, let’s go for it again, and again. No matter the interference. No matter the number of starts and stops. No matter if we have only from 5 to 6 AM. I think this hurting world needs us to be true and fully awake. Your family will be all the better for your eyes wide open passion.
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Several weeks ago, my creative and generous friend, Kristin, offered to get technical and help me design a new blog. As a gift to me, she used her talents to help me start yet again. There might have been hurdles along the way, but there have also been green lights.
To celebrate my (re)launch, I’m calling this month a party! Have a look around at Kristin’s work. Sign up for my newsletter to be entered to win my favorite Bible study. Read more about it here. It’s a gem.
Courage, warriors. Let’s keep beginning, again.